1. |
Jinx Money
03:51
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Look into the bag
Tell me what you see
Nothing in this world
Is really ever free
Found things, just like lost
Always have a cost
Like a dead fish stinks
That money is a jinx
[Bridge]
Lullaby's asleep
Augie's six feet deep
Cold deck's on a slab
Umbrella paid his tab
Slip and Sach got wise
Unlike those other guys
What more can I say?
They gave it all away...
Jinx money
Jinx money
Jinx money
Jinx money
Etc.
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2. |
Tattoo
02:43
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The government has a bold new plan
To help keep tabs on every woman and every man
No chip implant no stealth spy drone
No two way camera inside your new iPhone
One simple inking and your fate is cast
But no numbered arms like they once did in the past
You have no choice but you must choose
Between two very different tattoos
Which design would you like best
A barcode on your forehead
Or a bull's-eye on your chest?
[Bridge]
You say you're human not a commodity
To be scanned like toothpaste or a double "a" battery
They say pride comes just before a fall
If you don't like it stand shirtless before a wall
One simple inking and you can sleep
Inside your bed or the compost heap
You have no choice but you must choose
Between two very different tattoos
Which design would you like best
A barcode on your forehead
Or a bullseye on your chest?
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3. |
Woozy
02:03
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Instrumental
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4. |
World Of Wonders
03:14
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In this world of wonders
Why are we so bored?
We can barely will ourselves
To make this 7th chord
Where the hell’s our flying cars?
The jet pack and our thought guitars?
How can we fulfill our lives
Without the “cube” and robot wives?
[Bridge]
In this world of wonders
Screw that “less is more”
We’ve had less most all our lives
And it’s a crashing bore
Where the hell’s the time machines?
The teleporting Lexan jeans?
How can we live one more day
With no disintegration ray?
It’s a world of wonders, but…
It’s a world of wonders, but…
It’s a world of wonders, but...
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5. |
Bariatric Blues
06:02
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Crowd noise...then:
Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, live from the Lido Room, all the way from Chi-Town, it's Danny "Roast Beef" Zuchin.
Danny Zuchin: Thank you, thank you very much. So glad to be back in Southern California after 40 years! Why do they call me "Roast Beef"? Because I've got so much gravy! Hit it boys!!
Well, walkin’ down Wabash, lookin’ for a drink,
Needed some whisky, Lord, needed time to think,
Went into Buddy Guy’s, I couldn’t believe my eyes,
The Lap Band was playin’ and chewin’ on cherry pies
Bariatric blues (Gimme some mo’ of dat pie!)
Oh, bariatric blues (Cherry’s perfect wit’ dis’ ginger an’ rye)
Bariatric blues (Make dat next piece ala mode!)
Bariatric blues (Gimme ‘bout three mo’ for de’ road!)
Bariatric blues, bariatric blues, Oh, honey, come over here and whip dis’ cream!
Well, the singer looked like a walrus, the axe man ‘bout the same,
Rhythm section wouldn’t even fit inside a cargo plane,
The stage was a-saggin’, bendin’ to the floor,
Oh, hot damn, mama, it won’t take much more!
Bariatric blues (You call this deep dish pizza?)
Oh bariatric blues (Oh mama, did you still live in that same place you was livin' at before?)
Bariatric blues (Who let all these white people in here?)
Bariatric blues (My, my dat's fine!)
Bariatric blues (Uuum! Give me a piece a dat!)
Bariatric blues, Whooo baby, flap me some skin
[Bridge]
Well, by the time they hit the last set, them cherry pies were gone,
And now we was lookin’ at a Chi-Town dawn,
The Lap Band was loadin’ out, the sun was comin’ in,
Time for breakfast down at Crosby’s Kitchen!
Bariatric blues (Eh! Who cut the cheese here?)
Oh! Bariatric blues (Smells like somebody died in their pants)
Bariatric blues (Oh... It was me?)
Bariatric blues (Sorry Boys.)
Bariatric blues. Bariatric blues. Take it down boys I got one mo’ w-i-s-h…
Please drop some grub on me, baby
Please drop some grub on me, oh!
Please drop some grub on me, baby
please drop some grub on me,
Oh, come on
Please drop some grub on me, baby, oh!
Please drop some grub on me
[Harp solo to end]
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6. |
Dead Vegans
04:04
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This old world's become such a crazy place
My neighbor Carl's just tried to eat my face
I need some ammo for my Swedish Mauser
To kill the corpse of poor old Bowser
Even dead vegans will think meat tastes great
When they all re-animate
This old world's become such a kooky place
It's like out of “Plan 9 From Outer Space”
The saucers are here so please be brave
When every body will rise from the grave
Even dead vegans will think meat tastes great
when they all re-animate
[Bridge]
This old world's become such a groovy scene
Robot monsters want to snuff every hu-man bein'
Between the zombies or the calcinator
We’ll all be history sooner than later
Avoid getting bitten or ro-man capture
Is this the prelude to the rapture?
Even dead vegans will think meat tastes great
When they all re-animate
When they all re-animate
When they all re-animate
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7. |
Psychedelic Sewer
04:19
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I know you'll think it sounds insane
Lift up the manhole cover of your brain
You're going on a little trip
But there will be no crystal ship
You're going down now rung by rung
Into a world of sludge and dung
No more a thinker nor a doer
You're in a psychedelic sewer
I know it's hard to put in words
When thoughts go floating by like turds
You'll hear a "who" just like old Horton
But is it Leary or Ed Norton?
You're in it now and it's "waste" deep
The tide is anything but neap
Part of the stew and not the stewer
While in the psychedelic sewer
[Bridge]
Hey man--here take another hit
And find out why the hippies call it shit
You've got a long, long way to go
Just let yourself be carried by the flow
With luck perhaps eventually
You will be washed out to the sea
Another mindless "truth" pursuer
Passed through the psychedelic sewer
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8. |
Your Foot Is Ours
04:34
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Instrumental
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9. |
Funky Bone
03:19
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Last night when I was all alone
Well much to my surprise
I went and hit my funky bone
And it swelled up 3 times its size
I called my girl on the telephone
And said “come over now"
I went and hit my funky bone
You need to see this ow! Ow! Ow!”
Funky, funky bone
(Girl) open up your eyes
Funky, funky bone
Its 3 times 3 times its size
[Bridge]
We sat and watched the Twilight Zone
The one with Denver Pyle
She'd sneak a peek at my funky bone
And then crack up and I'd just smile
Funky, funky bone
(Girl) try it on for size
Funky, funky bone
Its 3 times 3 times its size
So now I hit that funky bone
Most every day and night
I like to hear my girlfriend moan
“It's so funky now it's outasight”
Funky, funky bone
Funky, funky bone
Funky, funky bone
Funky, funky bone
Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Funky, funky bone ow! Ow! Ow!
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10. |
The Gold Mine
02:44
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With his trousers around his ankles exposing his genitals the shabby old cowboy mumbles in his sleep as he lay in the mouth of the fake gold mine in the authentic reproduction 1800s western town at the central city park of Eclipse, Nevada 47 miles from Las Vegas where his illegitimate adult son was on a Southwest flight hoping to get to Newport Beach in time to see his children in the annual Save the Earth parade where the third graders dressed as crabs and dolphins walked along the boardwalk in front of the townhouse where his ex-wife sat on the couch drinking a Mai Tai watching her 22-year old boyfriend help the Hawaiian maid clear the breakfast plates from the patio table on the large deck that overlooked the beach and glittering sea with the hazy outline of Catalina island in the distance where Chinese tourists were boarding the ferry for the trip back to Long Beach and the farewell dinner at the hotel for their supervisor who was flying back that very day to Wuhan to oversee a big order of Styrofoam packing material that was to be shipped to Irkutsk to fill boxes of counterfeit purses bound for a large shop in Frankfurt where a young man had recently purchased a genuine Rolex watch for his girlfriend who was arriving that afternoon from London since her parents had told her to find her own place because Grandmother from New York had moved in after her husband was killed in an auto accident after his RV was hit by a drunk young soldier who had just been discharged and was heading to the train station to return to his hometown of Eclipse, Nevada where the old cowboy awoke, swatted at the mosquitoes around his head and said "Them juevos is cooked!".
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11. |
Area 51 Psychotic Boogie
07:02
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Instrumental
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12. |
When The Lights Went Out
02:22
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Where was Moses when the lights went out?
I guess nobody knows
Was he down in the cellar eating sauerkraut
The way the story goes?
Some folks think he traveled to Mars
And left a trail of old mason jars
That lead direct to a six legged gal
Who lives beside a Martian canal
Where were you when the lights went out?
I guess I'll never know
I checked Gazzarri's and the Troubadour
And the Whisky a go go
Some say you've gone deep underground
Where you hope you'll never be found
Good for you, for I've been told
The streets of hell are all paved with gold
[Bridge]
Where was I when the lights went out?
I guess nobody cares
You'd think somebody would have heard me yell
When I tripped and fell downstairs
Here am I, alone in the dark
On the hood of a '61 lark
The lock is jammed—there's no way out
And not jar one of sauerkraut
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13. |
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Who's that fat guy in your room?
His "ho ho ho" portends your doom
He holds you down with ham-like paws
And through his mittens you feel his steely claws
Santa Claus may be your death
And like a cat he sucks your breath
He sucks it all until you're dead
While visions of sugarplums are dancing in your head
[Bridge]
If you crave death you'll get your wish
As in that book by Thomas Disch
Pagan god or kindly saint:
He is what he is and ain't what he ain't
Santa Claus is comin' so you better watch out
Man his candy cane's a sign there can be no doubt
If you're on his list well you better think twice
He couldn't care less about who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is comin' so you better watch out
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Watch out
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14. |
To The Castle
04:34
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Here's your torch and feathered hat
Alert the butcher and the baker
It's time to climb the cursed hill;
Destroy the monster and its maker
And take this wooden stake in case
The vampire lies there still asleep
Hold it o'er its heart just so
Then pound it hard and drive it deep
[Bridge]
My Reichsrevolver's cylinder
Contains six bullets made of silver
And should the white she-wolf appear
I trust they are enough to kill her
Put all sense of class aside--
Townsman, noble, pitchforked vassal
Work together—end this plague
Quickly now—TO THE CASTLE!
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15. |
She Has Big Toes
02:59
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Out on a date like a walk in my sleep
I didn't know just what to expect.
A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend--
Guaranteed to come call collect.
I walked up the walk you know I knocked on the door
I must have waited for an eon or two.
A voice from inside coughed and then it cried
"Just a minute let me find my shoe..."
The door opens wide and she's standing there:
Pony-tailed and so petite,
A dazzling smile as wide as the Nile--
That's when my focus shifts onto her feet.
She has big toes: "big toes"
All of her toes are big toes--
She has big toes: "big toes"
All of her toes are big toes!
[Instrumental Interlude]
The weirdest thing I've ever seen
Bright red nails spread out like a fan--
No peek-a-boo pump could holster that clump
They're sticking out of a chopped brogan!
[Bridge]
Now every night when I try to sleep
Before I dream or even doze;
An image will rise before my closed eyes
The image of those ten big toes!
She has big toes: "big toes"
All of her toes are big toes--
She has big toes: "big toes"
All of her toes are big toes!
[Instrumental Interlude... fades]
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16. |
Spooky Wooky
04:33
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You think you hear a knock on the door the clock strikes a quarter to two
You peek through the slats of the upstairs blinds to see a shadow in blue
In its hands a Raggedy Ann that's missing half its head
If you had a lick of sense you'd jump back into bed
Slipping on your slippers and robe you grab a garden hoe
How Jose came to leave it there you really don't want to know
Creeping down the stairwell steps you try not to make any noise
You're fine until you step upon one of Fido's squeaky toys
Then at the window there it is -- a face like a frying pan
It shines so brightly you can't tell whether it's moon or man
The cat decides to burst into flames then streaks across the hall
Reflections foxtrot 'round the room from the chandelier mirror ball
Grandpa rises from his urn as the fireplace begins to spark
He whirls around the foyer like he's looking for a trailer park
A crucifix of the hat of Tom Mix starts bleeding from the brim
You think you hear Gene Simmons voice but you know that it's not him
Like naked eels you know how it feels or at least how it might seem
You ask yourself is this all real or merely a waking dream?
Then at last you start to gasp when you finally understand
You see a hunk of rag doll head clenched tightly in your hand
Spooky wooky!
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Several Mouth Parts California
This South Bay / LA area group started in 1971 as the Buddytones. Noted for its odd music and bizarre stage antics, its greatest achievement was causing a 2000 person stampede at the Fox Long Beach Theater in 1972 during “The Penis Song”. They continued performing until 1975, and after a 30 year break started recording again. Now, musically perhaps a bit more polished, enjoy SMP at its finest! ... more
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